Journal - 12/17 and 12/18 in Udaipur

12/17, Wednesday, trip to Udaipur

Our flight to Mumbai was fine. When we arrived at the airport in Chennai a man came rushing up to take our bags. We protested, thinking he was looking for a tip in a situation where we could help ourselves but it turned out that he just worked for the airlines and was doing his job. He took us right to the front of every line, helped us get our bags checked through to Udaipur and went off to help the next people.

We were at the airport really early so we sat there in a not-enough-sleep stupor until it was time to board the plane. In Mumbai it took a long time to get through the aiport, but we finally found our gate. We went through security again. In India, men and women have separate lines to go through, and as you send your bags through the x-ray they stamp a tag on them. These stamps are checked again as you board the plane.

Anyhow, we sat in the security area for a long time, waiting to board little buses that would take us to the planes. Just as we were getting ready to board the bus an announcement was made and suddenly everyone in the area was boarding the buses! We got on a random one with a bunch of other people and they drove around to the front of the airport. A fellow passenger explained that the airport was being evacuated and we were being taken to the airport hotel.

However, the bus sat in front of the airport for a while and we watched all of the other people stream out of the airport. It was amazing. Our new friend on the bus said that this happens often in Mumbai. No one seemed at all nervous, no one got angry, no one panicked. Policemen with guns were running into the restaurant next door and asking everyone to leave. We waited.

Then, about half an hour later, everyone started to go back in. The buses went round the back of the airport and we went through security again and were on our plane and in the air less than an hour later than we were supposed to be. Amazing!

We got to Udaipur and walked into a small very clean airport. A guard in a kind of bright kilt stood at the door as we entered. After collecting our bags, we stepped out looking hopefully for a driver with a card bearing our names. No luck. A few drivers approached us, asking if we needed a lift, but we explained that someone should be there to meet us. They immediately began to help us, looking at the address of our homestay and asking the others. Finally, we noticed that one man had "Pahuna Haveli" written in small letters in the corner of his sign. That was where we were going but the name on his card was "Mr. Mex Ider." Realizing that that was a creative phoenetization of "MacAdam-Somer" we greeted him, sorted everything out, and were on our way.

The roads were less crowded here and the landscape was totally different. There were mountains and hills rising up everywhere, with craggy rocks and sparse vegitation. Most people here were wearing wool sweaters even though it was pretty warm outside. As we got into Udaipur the streets became narrower and very crowded. We pulled onto a street into a neighborhood and stopped outside some iron gates in front of a large house. This was Pahuna Haveli, where we'd be staying for the next two days.

Inside, the house was cool and dark, with marble floors and curtains in long windows. Our room was on the second floor and had it's own bathroom. There was a nice rug on the floor and beautiful art on the walls.

Our host, Hemant, and her family moved into this house that used to be her parents' place. It has a lot of rooms, so lends itself well to the B&B. She was really kind and gave us great suggestions for where to go in town and how to get there.

We walked down to the main road and caught a rickshaw, bargained with the driver, and got a lift into the old town of Udaipur. Our first stop was the Jagdish Temple, and the square around it was one of the busiest places I have ever seen. Several roads intersect here and traffic darts through the area wherever there is an open space. In the midst of the motorcycles and rickshaws are pedestrians moving slowly across the road, cows wandering around, and vendors lining the sides of the streets. We took a short video of it that won't fit on this site, but you can see it at www.youtube.com/notoriousfolk.

The temple was amazing. There was a boy there who was hanging around and I let him act as a guide for me. I was curious about what he would have to say. Most of it seemed to make sense, and it was fun to take a closer look at the stonework. He pointed out several levels of figures in the temple, the lowest being demons, then humans, then gods and goddesses, and also showed me that some of the carvings were from the Kama Sutra, which I hadn't noticed. I am so impressed with the significance in every detail in artwork here, whether in dance or sculpture or music or painting. It's really amazing.

After visiting the temple we wandered around and visited a few shops, including a puppet shop where they had hundreds of marionettes. The owner did a demo for us in the back, and he was really skillful at making them dance while he whistled. Then we found our way to some steps down to the water of Pichola Lake where the sun was setting. As it got dark we went looking for Bagore-ki-Haveli, which is a big old house that was turned into a museum. There was going to be a dance demo there and we wanted to go, but we couldn't find the place. Other vendors kept asking us to come into their shops, and we kept saying, "Maybe tomorrow." A young man came up to us and started following us, asking where we were from and if he could walk with us and practice his English. We explained that we were in a hurry and he said he'd look for us another day, but when we wandered by again he asked us where we were going and led us there. His name is Naresh, and we ended up running into him again many times!

The dance demo was wonderful - they showed several kinds of Rajasthani dance, a puppet show, and of course a live band which was wonderful. The puppeteer was the same guy who had visited earlier in the day, and he did a funny skit with a "magician" puppet, making it dance around and then pop off it's head and toss it from hand to hand in time with the music. Some women came out and did a dance with pots of fire on their heads. And two middle-aged woman came out did a rhythmic dance with chimes - they held other chimes on strings in their hands and twirled them around, first clapping them together in time with the music, then hitting chimes on their shins, arms, shoulders, and heads. It was amazing! But the most exciting dance was when one of the women came out and danced with clay pots balanced on her head, first one, then three, then six, then ten! As she continued to dance and add more pots they brought out a metal bowl and she balanced by placing her feet on the rim and rocking it back and forth rhythmically. Then they brought out a big pile of what looked like thick glass, and she stepped in that in time with the music. All of the dancers wore bells on their ankles, so every step had to be right on beat.

We went back to our homestay and had dinner with the family that night. The food was excellent north Indian food, but the husband and son were very quiet and it felt rather formal. They have a very old maid who waited on the table, very different from the smiling, bubbly servants that we met in Chennai.

12/18 - Udaipur

On Thursday morning we practiced, then headed straight for Sahelyion ki Bari, a garden that was designed by the Maharani for herself and her ladies. This was a place where the women could go and not have to veil themselves. It was very pretty but a little run down. There was an inner sort of room with a big fountain inside, and behind that a small stone building that housed some kind of educational center - some maps, fun house mirrors, games and puzzles, a plastic skeleton. Very random.



After that we went to the Monsoon Palace, (Sajjangarh Wildlife Sanctuary)was a bit of a drive out of town. On the way we went through some small villages that were very quiet - so different from the south! We passed some women on the road who were carrying enormous piles of sticks on their heads.We got to the bottom of the Monsoon Palace hill and told the driver that we wanted to walk up to the top. "Impossible," he said, and was so insistant that we let him drive us. But it was such a struggle for that little car to make it up the mountain, and it was so noisy, and we really wanted to walk, so we finally convinced him to pull over and let us out at a viewing area. It was so lovely to walk! Quiet and peaceful. There were mountains everywhere, large fields and lush valleys. We saw monkeys as we got close to the top - a whole tree full of them!









The palace is beautiful. It was supposed to be something like 13 stories tall but never got
completed, so it is only three. There is an incredible view of Udaipur from the palace, and a beautiful small garden. There were also some construction projects going on and it was fun to watch the men working. They had built ladders and platforms that were all secured with rope - no nails, and of course none of them wore helmets or gloves or any other safety devices.

When we came out our driver was there waiting for us - I guess he felt that it would be impossible for us to walk down! We asked him to stop again at the same place so we could walk a little ways on a trail that was laid out there. As we walked we passed by a group of men and women who were working on the trail, either creating it or fixing some rough spots. They were getting ready to eat lunch and
offered us some food, but we thanked them and continued on our way. Looking back at the palace was like peering into a fairy tale.

Our intention was to head right back to the city, but our driver suggested taking us to Shilpgram, the local craft village. We were really hungry when we got there, so were happy to see that there was a small outdoor cafe. The food was great! We were served rice with several side dishes, including a bright yellow curry, dal, and some greens. There was also a sweet lentil cake and fresh chapatis (Indian wheat tortillas), which they brought around whenever we looked ready for more.

Shilpgram was very similar to the folk village that we visited in the south, except that it was much bigger. We stopped first to watch some musicians, who were playing in a booth close to the front of the place. They were playing Rajasthani folk music and I loved it! Instruments included a bowed string instrument with lots of strings that were fingered with the side of the fingernail (sarangi), a flute, a harmonium (piano that had bellows to pump with one hand while you played), drum (dholak), jaw harp, and singing, of course. We stayed with them for a long time, then went on to visit some of the vendors and see some of the houses - different styles of traditional north Indian homes. We bought some earrings and wandered through the museum there, then came out and heard some more music. We went to investigate. There were a group














of men with instruments, but one older man and a boy were playing a kind of duel with these talking drums - we should have written down the name, but I think it was something like pakpak. You play them by holding the drum under your arm. A long gut string with a handle is attached to the head and you hold that taught with one hand and pluck the string with a pick with the other hand. Changing the tension changes the pitch. Larry tried it out and we ended up bringing one home!



As we headed back to the front of the village a large group of dancers came out and did some sort of hunting dance, one of them was dressed like an animal and one held a bow and arrow. There was also a camel sitting there, looking bored.


We found our driver and headed back to Udaipur to visit the City Palace. That is an amazing place! You enter through a huge courtyard where there used to be elephant fights, then step through a huge portcullis into the main palace. As we walked each room became more and more ornate, with glasswork, brilliant tiles, beautiful marble floors. The hallways were very narrow and many windows were covered with intricate stone latticework. One room had gorgeous peacocks in brilliant blue stone on the walls. One room had such intricate murals that you could spend hours trying to follow the stories in all of them. There was a hallway that was lined completely with bright stained-glass windows.

It was very easy to envision people living there, and I think that the Maharana did live there until the 1990s. It is now in public trust. We saw photos of the royal family and tons of paintings of elephant fights, tiger hunts, fights between elephants and tigers...I guess that used to be one of the primary sources of entertainment.

After visiting the City Palace we walked around and bought some things. At one shop I remember being so shocked by the low price he quoted us that I didn't bargain much at all, and I know that I could have gotten a much better deal. Bargaining was hard for me, mostly because we were usually negotiating such small amounts in US money and the people there really needed it. But people had a lot more respect for you if you bargained, so we did it. I know that no matter how well we did we paid way more than anyone living in India would, and the vendors must have felt good about the price they got, so it all worked out ok.

We were passing by one shop when the man in the door said, "You passed by yesterday and said you would come in today. I remember you!" So we went in and visited with him for a bit. He told us the story of Ganesh, which was interesting, and we looked at some of his work. Just as we were negotiating to by a painting on camel bone the power went out. It was really dark - no lights on at all. They brought candles and everything went on as usual.

That evening we went to a light and sound show at the City Palace that was pretty cheezy, but interesting. It recounted some of the interesting history about the place. There was one story of a woman who saved the young prince by placing her own son in his bed when the evil Uncle was looking to cut off his head and steal the kingdom for himself. There's another story of the women in the palace being beseiged and when they thought all hope of victory was lost they built a huge fire and jumped into it - better to die honorably than to become the slaves of their conquerors. Pretty intense.

We found a driver after the show and asked him to take us to the Ambrai restaurant and then back to our haveli. Our host had told us to make sure to ask the driver to wait, because she once had guests out late in the evening and all of the drivers had gone to bed, so they couldn't get home! They ended up being rescued by a young man on a motorcycle, who gave them a lift back to the place.

The restaurant was right on Lake Pichola, and we sat out on the terrace looking at the Lake Palace in all of it's splendor, and the City Palace, and felt very lucky to be where we were.

Journal 12/19 - 12/21: Udaipur, Wedding

12/19 Thursday, Udaipur and Devi Garh

This morning we went to visit a musician that we had met a couple of days before in Udaipur. His name is Krishna, and he has a shop that caters mainly to tourists, selling all kinds of Indian instruments. He invited us back to his home for tea, so we followed him through alleys and narrow streets to a brightly colored door. We went into a small dark room with a concrete floor and a kitchen counter, and a narrow window letting in a little light. There were metal shelves along the walls that held all kinds of stuff. Krishna invited us to sit down on the rug and his wife made tea for us while he ran off to take a lunch to his son at school. His wife was preparing spinach for dinner, picking over the leaves and separating them from the stems. We sat and drank tea while she worked and after I asked her several times she finally let me help her.

She and Krishna and their son, Yeshu, live in that little room - that is where they eat, sleep, work, study. There was a small loft space covered by curtains, but they use it to store tons of instruments for the shop. She used to live in a village and misses the sunshine and light. She has three siblings, all who went to college, but she didn't pass her 12th year of school because she couldn't pass the English class (her English was very good). So at 17 she married Krishna. It was an arranged marriage and she feels that arranged marriages are good, that parents make good decisions for their kids. But she also dreams of going to college or going to America, "just dreams" she says. She also hopes that they will be able to save up enough money to buy a house outside the city someday, where there is more space and sun and light and things will be better for her son. She is 27.

She asked us a lot of questions about where we live, how much rent costs in the US and shook her head - more than one year's salary for them. Then she asked me if I'd like her to henna my hand. Of course I said yes, so she worked on that for a while and made some beautiful designs. While she was drawing I asked her her name (women are often overlooked in introductions and are often just called "my wife" or "my mother"). "Heena," she said, but I realized later that she thought I was asking the name of the art she was creating - henna. So I have no idea what her name is, which makes me angry.

She offered to henna my other hand, but it was getting late and we had to catch a ride back to the haveli so we could go to the wedding. "We don't have time," Larry said, and she echoed, "no time." She sighed - all she has is time. I got the impression that she is lonely and I wished that we could have spent another day hanging out. We made a good connection right away and we could have been friends. We went outside and she showed us the way back to the shop. I remember her standing there, watching us wistfully go, her bright orange lehenga sparkling against the stark white walls.







Krishna was there and we looked at drums. I've always wanted to learn how to play the tabla but in this case was worried about getting it home on the plane. But we decided to risk it. Krishna had given us a price range for instruments but wouldn't give us a quote for this one - "it is middle quality," he said, "we're friends, just pay me what you want." We gave him about $100 for the drum, and he threw in a cd and book and bag to carry it in. It was way more than we should have paid, honestly, but I knew that. If I had bargained, fine, we would have gotten it for maybe $50. But $100 to them means so much more than to us, and in the US I would pay more than that for a good drum anyhow. So that's what we did. He took the money without counting it.

This is the constant conflict I had with money in India. You always know that you are paying more than an Indian would for things. And even then the price you are quoted is much less than it would be in the US. So do you bargain, trying to get a good deal, or just let the money go, knowing that it makes a bigger difference there? I hate that!

I'd like to make it possible for Krishna to come to the US to play some concerts (he is a great drummer), which he would love to do. I have no idea how to work on something like that, but I'm going to try. In my dreams, I'd love for his wife to come, too. But that is even less likely to happen.

They invited us for dinner, and I wish we could have gone, but we were heading off to the wedding that day. I was moved by their hospitality - here they were, living in a small room, and offering us whatever they had, maybe even more than they had. Krishna urged us to contact them if we needed any help in town, or if we were able to come back for a visit. We will never forget them.

Back at the haveli we thanked our host and hopped in a car that would take us to Devi Garh. I was still feeling sad about leaving our new friends, but the drive was exciting. We went on narrow winding roads through the mountains and for the first time I felt nervous about passing in the oncoming traffic lanes - our driver would honk and go, whether he could see or not, so it was exciting! Once we were passing through a narrow opening between two cars and we heard a loud "smack!". Larry and I looked around, startled, and the driver said, "it was the mirror" - we had passed so close that his right mirror had been whacked by another car. It was still there, though, so he wasn't concerned.

By the way, off of the main roads were paved in India and were generally in good shape. They were usually two-lane roads with a dividing mark down the middle. Sometimes there would be more lanes marked on either side, but more often people would just drive wherever they could see space. When we left the main roads to drive into a village, like Auroville, or Devi Garh, we were on dirt roads.

We arrived at our hotel, the Heritage Resort at Lake Bagela. As we pulled through the gates we were greeted by a man who put flower chains around our necks and a red dot on our foreheads. Our room was beautiful, and overlooked the lake, the mountains, and some temples. There are gardens and lots of green grass and quiet terraces and coming here after being in Krishna's home was very strange.

Our hotel was about a 15 minute drive from the Devi Garh fort where the wedding festivities were to take place, so a bus was waiting to take all of the wedding guests over there. It felt strange to be with so many Americans after two weeks without meeting anyone from the US.

At the fort we walked through huge arched doorways, though a grassy courtyard, and up some steps to another lawn and pool area. There were brightly colored cloths stretching across the lawn to make a kind of open tent, and balls of yellow and orange flowers hung from trees. We ate lunch and watched while people flew kites from the terrace. Just over the wall of the fort one could look down on rooftops of concrete homes, women did laundry, animals lounged in the sun. It was another startling contrast. How is it possible for such wealth and such poverty to be that close? It seems like with so much money passing through the fort some of it ought to get into the village...maybe it does and things are already better there than they used to be.

Apparently, Devi Garh used to just be a huge historic fort until some movie star (Brad Pitt?) came up with the idea of a hotel being there. So it was sort of turned into a resort, although I never did see where the rooms were. Madonna stays there when she goes to India. It was a really nice place.

That evening was games night. This is a tradition stemming from the idea that in arranged marriages the bride and groom (usually very young) and their families needed to get to know eachother. In this case the families already knew eachother, but the guests were pretty well divided with Americans on one side of the lawn and Indians on the other. So having games was a good idea.

There was an MC, and he began by offering a prize to the first woman who could bring him a shoe with a pricetag still on it, and to a man who had a photo of his mother-in-law in his wallet. It was really funny! Then he asked for the tallest man (Catherine's cousin, Will) and the smallest woman, (a relative of Akshay's). Then he started circle games, where he had all of us dance around in a circle to some music. When the music stopped suddenly he would say, "a person with earrings with someone with no earrings" or "sandals with shoes" and we'd all run around looking for a partner. It was a great way for people to connect, because when you found someone you'd chat with them for a minute before the game began again.

For the next game, we were divided into two teams and instructed to find, in 3 minutes, objects that began with each letter of the English alphabet. That was really funny - some people got very into it and others of us drifted away to watch and chat. The only other game I remember watching that night was another circle game. But this one was only for married couples because it was a "naughty" game. In this game, when the music stopped he would call out, "cheek to cheek" and everyone would scramble to find their spouse and touch cheeks. The last ones to connect were out. This was really funny to watch, because the calls got progressively more intimate!

After the games was dinner and then a casino night - they had a big room set up with different casino games and of course a very loud band. We stayed for a little while, then went out to get a lift back to our hotel. When we got in the car our driver said, "Do you remember me?" It was Naresh, the guy who had showed us the way to Bagore-ki-haveli in Udaipur two days ago!

12/20, Wedding at Devi Garh

We woke up early and went over to devi garh for a rehearsal for the western ceremony. Emily's granny was officiating, along with another friend of theirs, and they wanted to run through things. But it was difficult to get everyone in one place at the same time, and we ended up just talking things through at length.

Catherine was upset because her luggage hadn't arrived. She was wearing a beautiful lehenga from Emily's wardrobe, but all of her own wedding clothes were in the suitcase, so she was really worried about it arriving in time for the ceremonies the next day.

We went down to a terrace where the Mehendi was beginning. This was the part of the wedding when the women's hands are hennaed. There were lots of artists there and a band playing Rajasthani wedding songs and it was a really merry event.

Emily had been really late in coming down the night before because her legs had to be very intricately hennaed, and the longer the paste was left on the darker it would be, which traditionally means that your husband loves you more. So they started her henna early and it took several hours to dry enough so that she could get dressed and come down to the party.

Today they were doing intricate designs on her arms, so she was seated under the tent propped up by cushions while they worked on her. Akshay was there, too, having some smaller designs done on his hands and feet. This went on for hours while we all visited. Servants came around constantly with appetizers and every kind of drink you could imagine - watermelon juice, orange juice, guava juice, a sugar cane drink, tea, coffee...it was amazing.

Then the mayra began. This was the ceremony when Akshay's mom's family arrived and presented gifts to his mother. (There had been a huge dinner in Bombay on Thursday night when she had officially invited them to the wedding.) So all of her relatives went out and came in together and each family came up to be welcomed by the mother of the groom, when she marked their foreheads and fed them some sweets. There was singing and dancing and general silliness - it was fun to watch.

After lunch we had a quick music run-through for the next day's ceremony and figured out how to squeeze ourselves into the little balcony where we'd be playing. The room for the western ceremony was relatively small and they were nervous because no one knew how many guests would come to it! It was a beautiful open marble room with a balcony running along each side and a little alcove on either end, and we were going to play in one of the alcoves.

We went back to change for the evening happenings, and just as we were getting ready to leave the back strap of one of my sandals broke. I only had one nice pair of shoes with me, so I needed to try to find a temporary repair. I went to the desk and asked if they had a needle and thread I could use. There were several men working there, and they took a look at my shoe and had a rapid conference about possible solutions. Another guest came in and offered to take me to her room to see if one of her extra pairs fit me. They did, so I was all set for the night, but when I went back into the lobby I saw one of the hotel clerks on the floor with a flashlight sewing up my shoe! He fixed it with some really tough thread and it lasted for the rest of the weekend.

That night was the most amazing party I have ever attended. It was a mela, a village carnival, staged in the courtyard of the fort. When we walked in we were stunned by the sounds and colors and activity. There were a snake charmer, acrobats on a high wire, a tall man on stilts, a group of men with drums and horns and one dressed like a horse dancing around, a puppet show booth, a booth where people were making bracelets by melting some kind of material over a fire, a magicians booth, and a concert stage where a band was playing Rajasthani folk music. There were also tons of tables set up with food of all kinds, including a really incredible Thai food area. We found out later that the Thai food was actually from Thailand, and so were the people who were making it - they had flown over with several kilos of food! There was also a booth where they were making a huge cauldron of hot milk with nuts in it, and they were yelling out to people to come and try it, dancing and singing and doing tricks with pouring the milk. And people were walking around with trays of drinks. It was amazing.

After a while a dance demo began, showing many of the folk dances that we had seen a couple of nights before in Udaipur. Then, Akshay's family came out and began a sort of show that they had put together, where several of them exhibited dances from different parts of India. His sister did a carnatic dance from South India, his mother and Aunt did a folk dance with sticks, and there were several bollywood-type dances. It was amazing - some of them were really incredible dancers and some of them had clearly just worked things up for this program, but they all looked great. It must have taken a lot of time to prepare. Can you imagine any American family doing that? There was a slide-show that Emily's family had made, and then her cousins got up and sang "Deep in the Heart of Texas" and taught a line-dance. They did a great job but after all of the intricate Indian music and dance it was less-impressive than it could have been.

To close the show Emily came out, making a dramatic entrance through scarves waved by Akshay's family, and performed a solo dance with Indian choreography. She was amazing! At the end Akshay came out and they did a little dance together.

I wish that we, as a culture, brought more to the table when it comes time to share our traditions with other countries. There are incredible traditional American forms of dance and song and music - why not share more of it? So much of it is lost to the general public. I was really impressed with the thought and care that had gone into all of the preparations to share Indian culture with us. People who aren't professional dancers or musicians or artists still take the time to learn something about it.

12/21 - Wedding Ceremonies

The western ceremony was scheduled to begin at 10:30, but it was more like 11:30 when it began. Luckily, we were prepared with lots of extra music and it all went smoothly. Early in the morning everything seemed peaceful and quiet, but during the ceremony so many cel phones went off and you could hear numerous construction projects going on outside, so it took away slightly from the air of timelessness! But the ceremony was beautiful, in spite of distractions.

There was a reception afterwards and Emily had asked us to play English dance music on the terrace. But after a while we started playing some swing and a few of our other top hits from our Chennai shows, and of course people loved that. It was fun to be a part of the festivities.

We all went back to change clothes and returned for the Indian ceremony, supposedly to begin at "4:30 sharp"! Well, around 5 the groom's family began heading out to the gates of the fort. They were going to meet there and parade in. The bride's side of the family was supposed to wait inside the fort to receive them, but most of us snuck out to take a peek at the parade - there were an elephant and a camel and a huge brass and drum band. I went over to pet the elephant. We were standing there talking with the handlers when I felt a sudden pressure against my leg - the elephant was leaning into me with his knee!

Back inside the fort we visited with guests while the parade slowly approached. They were supposed to take about an hour to arrive. Finally they came inside and we all went to greet them and welcome them in. Akshay came riding in on an elaborately decorated white horse, with the band banging and clanging all around and his family dancing wildly in front of him. He came up to the main door and Emily's mom got up on a chair and greeted him, marked his forehead and fed him some sweets. Then we all trooped inside and up to the pool area for the ceremony. Most of the Indian guests went to have tea during the ceremony, but all of the Americans watched. Emily came in, escorted by her sisters and cousins under a red canopy. They all looked seriously unhappy and Catherine told me later that they had been told by Akshay's family to look sad, since they were giving away their sister. When I look at the photos and videos now I can see that most of them were trying not to smile!

Emily and Akshay sat up on a dais with yellow and white flower around their necks. Emily's parents were up there, too. The ceremony seemed to have a lot to do with their passing on Emily's care to Akshay. Emily and Akshay also had to circle a small fire several times. There were two men on the dais who were praying and leading the ceremony, and one man who was helping them by handing them flowers or honey or whatever else they needed. While we watched people came around offering us drinks on trays and the whole thing had an air of a cocktail party.

At the end of the ceremony fireworks went off! Then there was a negotiation involving Akshay's shoes, which had been stolen away by the bride's family - he had to bargain with them and offer them large sums of money to get them back. (Actually, Akshay's cousin's had prepared for this by hiding his shoes in the first place, but because his family wanted this negotiation to take place another of his cousin's went and found them and gave them to Catherine.)

Then there was a very elaborate dinner. And then there was a concert by a famous Bollywood singer (Abijay?). He had a band with two drummers, two basses, and a keyboard player. We were surprised to see that he was a middle-aged man wearing thick glasses - you would never see an American movie star like that, right? - but we were told that he is the voice behind the Bollywood actors when they sing. That made a lot more sense. Anyhow, it was great!

It was the most exciting, beautiful, and elegant wedding I have ever attended. And in spite of the grandeur, no one seemed to be stressed out or uptight. It felt very relaxed. I don't imagine that I will ever experience anything like that again.

Journal 12/22 - 24: train to Agra, home

12/22 - train to Agra

We caught a ride into Udaipur with some other wedding guests and one of them, Diane, let us leave our bags in her hotel room during the day. That was a big help. We went back to Shilpgram where there was a festival going on, so there were tons of vendors there. And we went back into the old city and visited the Bada Bazaar, then walked forever to the Deen Diyal park where we watched the sun set over Lake Pichola. After that, we caught a rickshaw back into town, ate dinner, then grabbed our bags and headed to the train station.

We were concerned that the station would be confusing and busy, but as it turned out we walked in, saw our train right away, found our car, and got settled in our berths in no time at all. We were traveling First Class 2A, which meant that the coach isn't divided into compartments but is open, with curtains that pull around each bay. A friend recommended that we travel that way because we'd meet more families. First class 1A has compartments, so you tend to only meet business men, and 3A has three bunks in each bay instead of two, which must be pretty crowded. While we waited for the train to start a steward passed out sheets, blankets, and pillows. Everything was very clean.

12/23 - Taj Mahal, drive to Delhi

I had a really hard time sleeping that night, even though I was comfortable. When I woke up in the morning, Larry had struck up a conversation with the family opposite, who had also been at the wedding at Devi Garh. The husband told us that the train was running three hours behind schedule, and offered to call our contact in Agra and fill them in. We really appreciated that, because we didn't have a cel phone.

The land here was much more desert-like, although as we got closer to Agra there were fields of yellow mustard. We saw camels pulling carts on the main roads, people making huge rows of bricks, farmers in the fields. We passed some pretty impoverished-looking villages where garbage littered the land between the town walls and the train tracks. As we got closer to Agra the villages seemed to be dirtier, with people bathing and kids playing in small, stagnant ponds.

We hadn't brought much in the way of food with us, as we expected to be in Agra by 10:30, and I was starting to feel pretty out of sorts and in need of food. When we stopped at a station Larry got off to look for some fruit but was shooed back on the train by our friend who was concerned that the train was about to leave. (Trains didn't give much warning when it was time to go, they just started moving slowly away.) The train started and suddenly our friend came back with a big bag of bananas and oranges. "Here," he said, "A present for you." What kindness!

As we got close to Agra our friend phoned for us again, then got off the train and made sure that we connected with our contact there. Throughout our journey, we were overwhealmed by how well we were taken care of by strangers. That is the India we experienced.

Danha, our friend from Media Mix, owns a restaurant in Agra specializing in South Indian food, and one of his business associates there, Hanumant, met us at the station and took us to the Taj Mahal. We thought he would just drop us off, but he came in with us and showed us around, which was really helpful.

The Taj Mahal complex was built in the early 1600s as the tomb for the emperor Shah Jahan for his favorite wife Mumtaz Mahal who died while giving birth to their fourteenth child. Here is what Shah Jahan said about the Taj:

Should guilty seek asylum here, Like one pardoned, he becomes free from sin. Should a sinner make his way to this mansion, All his past sins are to be washed away. The sight of this mansion creates sorrowing sighs; And the sun and the moon shed tears from their eyes. In this world this edifice has been made; To display thereby the creator's glory.

The tomb is made of white marble and is full of intricate stonework, including jasper inlaid calligraphy running up the sides of each entryway. The mosque and guesthouse, one on either side of the tomb, are made of red sandstone, and the contrast between the colors of all three are beautiful. Every bit of architecture is perfectly balanced and symmetrical.

It took 20, 000 workers in addition to the calligraphers, sculptors, and inlayers, and 1,000 elephants. It took 22 years to complete. Instead of building scaffolds out of rope and bamboo (which is what they currently use in construction projects) they built a brick scaffold that mirrored the design of the building. This would have taken years to dismantle, but there's a legend that Shah Jahan offered the bricks to anyone who would take them, so they were gone overnight. I believe it!

After the Taj, Hanumant took us back to the restaurant for an amazing lunch. We felt that we had come full circle, ending our visit to north India with south Indian food, since our first meal in India was north Indian cuisine in Chennai. We freshened up a bit and were bundled into the car en route to Delhi.

Our driver was so nice. He put on some Indian pop music and explained that he liked the "old music" best, which I guess meant from ten or twenty years ago. He sang along and often replayed the same songs several times in a row, so by the end we were singing along, too. It was funny to be sitting in the car with all of us singing together like old friends.

The drive to Delhi was long, but there was lots to look at. When we got into the city itself traffic was awful, it was very smoggy, and there was a bad smell in the air. It was cold outside and I saw a small boy in shorts and a t-shirt begging at an intersection.

In order to get into the airport one has to have a ticket receipt. We stepped inside, changed our money (you can't change it anywhere after going through security), and checked into our flight.

"What seats would you like," said the man at the desk, "I tell you what, I'll put you in a row of three and will block the middle seat for you."

That was nice!

We waited in the terminal for a long time, but finally boarded the plane. They came around with hot washcloths for us, we took off, and I slept. When I woke up we were landing in Amsterdam.

Journal - After all

We were not even there for three weeks, but the sounds and smells and colors of India are firmly imprinted on my consciousness. I can't wait to go back.

People keep asking me if I felt comfortable there. I never felt one bit uneasy. We were constantly made to feel at home. People offered us food, information, help, hospitality, usually without expecting anything in return. At the same time, there were tons of people trying very aggressively to make money off of tourists - we were savvy enough to say no, firmly, to people trying to sell us things we didn't need. No one tried to sell us false tickets, no one tried to take our things. We left our shoes outside every temple we visited and they were there waiting for us when we got back. Maybe we were just lucky.

But we didn't visit any of the really big cities - Mumbai, Delhi, Calcutta. Had we gone there I know we would have encountered more roughness, more poverty and more hunger. We did meet plenty of drivers who slept in their cars most nights, lots of people without shoes in the south, hotel workers sleeping on blankets on the lobby floors.

And the enormous contrast between rich and poor was really shoved in our faces, every single day. That is still hard for me to accept.

I know it sounds cheesy, but I want to do something to make a difference.